Which Comes First, Vitality or Pleasure?

As the month of March came in I began thinking about the Vernal Equinox and what it meant to me this year. One thing kept coming into my life: vitality. It was a word I had a sense of but could not define or explain. I saw it everywhere but did not understand what or how it was in my life. I did not know vitality.

I thought and reflected, researched and let it go. After several weeks, I came to place where I could honestly say “Now I know vitality.”  It’s my life force, my zest for life, my Orende, my joie de vivre, and my desire to grow and reach new heights of awareness and pleasure. It’s the energy I have to do what I desire and to do that which will make my heart sing.

Finding vitality is not specifically about healing, although healing may be involved. Sometimes, healing is required to have more vitality, and sometimes, healing can result from increased vitality.

Around the time of the Equinox I was making a big decision about my journey and my healing. Although the path to making the decision was not easy, it created a positive shift in my life. I didn’t know if things would go as I wanted, but I knew that simply making the decision was an act of power, because every decision made clearly, cleanly and authentically for our own best good is an act of power. While I was aware the decision itself had power, I only understood bits and pieces in the beginning. It took some time before I could fully comprehend the scope of my decision.

I know the power of sexual energy to heal and transform; it balances the whole body and being, and increases vitality. A balanced sexuality promotes a balanced person. Without balance in our sexuality, something will be off in our emotional, mental, physical and/or spiritual aspects. When the day of the equinox passed without my noticing, I understood this balance even more.

The decision I made was not about attending a workshop or reading a book or anything like that. It was simply a commitment to bring more vitality into my life; to raise my life force; to increase my Orende; to live fuller, love deeper and connect more thoroughly to myself, to life and to others. It was a decision to seek pleasure moments to increase my vitality, to seek healing through my sexual release and pleasure, to clear the blocks that slow down my energy. I made the decision to immerse myself in opportunity because it’s not the workshop, the healer or an event that will accomplish my goal; it’s my ability to be present in the moment, to acknowledge and accept the opportunity for growth, and to allow healing to happen and my life force to increase.

Almost eight months later, my life is much more vital and full; I feel much more alive. I recognize how it all goes directly back to that decision.  That Spring morning, when the truth of my decisions became clear, there were birds chirping outside my window in the dreary wetness – “welcome to Spring” they sang. Perhaps it was another lesson: Pleasure can exist even in a dreary wet day.

I will leave you with one final thought: increasing your pleasure increases your vitality, and increasing your vitality increases your pleasure.   If you’d like to explore this idea further, see “The Pleasure-Vitality Connection”.


More Pleasure and Even Greater Sex

How Much Pleasure Can You Have?

The cliché is that practice makes perfect – well, there is no perfect to strive for but practice can be a whole lot of fun.

What’s the secret to fantastic sex? Perhaps it’s not really a secret just something yet to be learned. Tantrikas, Dakinis, Sexuality Coaches, Sexological Bodyworkers, Sacred Intimates and other sexuality practitioners are often perceived as knowing the hidden mysteries of great sex. They all started somewhere and so can you.

Whether you’re going solo or engaging sexually with other(s), exploring spiritual sexuality or focusing exclusively on physical pleasure, you can be more connected to yourself and your partner(s) – more connected to the sexual energy. No matter who you have sex with or how, new places can be reached through relaxation, breath, being present, and engaging the body in various ways.

Speaking of breath, are breath and energy orgasms for real?
(Yes! And you can have them too.)

  • Use your breath to move energy and reach orgasm
  • You can do this in many ways and everyone’s experience will look different.  It is found in many teachings and it may take practice.
  • This can be done solo or with others.
  • Move the energy around your body.
  • Move the energy away from your genitals.
  • Into your heart or throughout your whole body up the center of your body (Some call this the Chakras or up the Kundalini)
  • Share the energy with another.
  • Use your intent, your hands, a lover’s tongue – be creative.
  • Use the five revelations.

La Petite Mort

La petite mort – the little death:

For a brief moment
there is nothing
and everything.

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